Bio of the
Curious Character Called
‘Dr. Excelsior Crémant’
It was rumored that Dr. Excelsior Crémant, PGA, Esq. was the illegitimate scion of a Georgian and French wine dynasty. When he briefly took on his father’s last name, he was sued by his half-brothers for bringing shame to the family name. Trademark violation, they claimed. He threatened a 10-figure highly publicized countersuit, won a sizable settlement, and changed his name back to Crémant.
Which, if true, explains a lot… his passion for intellectual property law; the rage and resentment; his freestyling lifestyle through a pool of shame and blame.
At his untimely funeral, Dr. Crémant’s daughter (and son) eulogized, “he was a lifelong learner (who learned seemingly nothing about life)”
Never married, Dr. Excelsior (dubbed ‘Dr. X’ by friends, and ‘Dr. X Crémant’ by enemies) was the father of two known children, Excelsia Crémant, PMP, PGA and Excelsius Crémant, Esq.
In his native country, when Dr. Excelsius Crémant asks you to jump, you salute and say, “How high, Dr. Crément?”
“I’ve never been to your country, and I don’t have any plans to visit,” I told him in our first meeting.
And those were the terms of my arrangement to ghostwrite for Dr. Crémant that were written on the back of a napkin at the dining table of his smallest yacht at the Monaco Boat Show.
That was decades ago.
Now that he’s gone, we’re thankful that he has established 732-738, the venture capital fund for legal defense and licensing fees.
On the hardcover edition of our collaboration, my name appears below his because Dr. Crémant was so inspired by the result of our work that he said: “This work of art is not mine, but Theirs. He stitched together my stories with Theirs in unimaginable ways.”
I spent countless hours interviewing Excelsior. After the cameras stopped and the microphones dropped, he shared secrets that he’s never shared before, nor since.
What the world doesn’t know is that Dr. X—as I call him—was a fear-fueled philanthropist, a sociopathic capitalist, and an unreachable narcissist. Behind closed doors, he always thought this work was his—and me, his scribe. The impossible ideas within? Impossible without him—or so he thought.
Nonetheless, regardless of the fiercest of his flaws, Dr. X was a font of wisdom, a captivating storyteller, and a master of disguise with a wicked good Ahhnuld Schwarzenegger impression… and for these reasons, his stories must be told.
It is not just my job to bring them to life on screens and stages big and small.
It’s NOT. JUST. MY. JOB.
It’s yours.